The Journey to Self Discovery....!!!!!

What is the true meaning of life? What is wrong and what is right? Why sometimes the good that you do for someone happens to turn out bad for someone and you happen to be in the line of fire? During the times of dilemma whom should you listen to; the heart or the mind? What is Moksh / salvation and how can one achieve it? How long does it to take to rebuild things that have broken apart? These questions made me go for a journey across 3 states to get answers which I have been trying to unearth and discover for sometime now.

24.01.2012

The day started with an excitement unparalleled to anything in this world with the call of the mountains to free my soul to pristine solace and tranquillity. The alarm bell was a wakeup call up to get the tickets from Kerori Mall station by 8.30am. A hurried nature’s call and a quick shower with the breakfast being gulped down in a jiffy and looking for a transport to reach Kerori Railway station. Finally Piyush’s car was the solution to get the tickets and to my dismay Ashish was not there yet he arranged through one of his colleague and the cost was an upsurge of Rs 600. Getting the tickets in hand was a feeling of ecstasy with the call of the mountain’s and Piyush’s wedding at Pilhibit.

By the afternoon my mood had changed from sombre to sad because my diamond ring was missing from my middle finger. I realized it after lunch and was searching everywhere hoping to get it back but it was not to be found. I was finding it difficult to concentrate in my work with so many users coming for solution; somehow I had to close my emotional quotient and go with the flow of intelligence quotient. The ring was dear to me not because of the commercial value but the emotional quotient that is embedded to it. Papa & mom had bought it and got it made for me because I didn’t want to wear a family heirloom’s large size diamond and probably lose it. Yet the unforeseen has happened and I feel the sense of guilt rising every second, being the only son if I can’t handle a single ring and keep it safe how will I manage and keep safe the interests of everyone in the family? I feel I am lacking in the true sense when it comes to being responsible. But perhaps I will feel responsible if I get the ring back; that would give this solace that at least I am a good retriever for the lost.

Durgesh Bhai was in my room to pick me up and start the bon –voyage, but it was his gut feeling that we should search again and probably retrieve it back. It was sweet of them to turn my room upside down to find the ring, but I felt it was hope against hope and it did prove futile yet the efforts made were of a magnum opus. The plan of cooking chicken with rum was not fruitful because Durgesh Bhai was a staunch believer of the Tuesday factor neither I did have the steam of cooking because somewhere in my mind the hardest stone known to mankind was not leaving my sub-conscious and conscious mind. Hence we settled for Gobhi matar which I prepared and to my amazement and surprise saw Durgesh Bhai churning out great Roti’s from the tawa. The rum did not give me the effect to forget my ring neither did it bring it back yet tried to enjoy the rum, and dinner at his place. We had a short sleep for an hour because at 2.30 am we had to leave his residence for the station. The plan of action was that Pavan had fixed an auto and we would go in that auto to Raigarh railway station.

The auto person however did not come to pick us hence we walked from his residence with Jack ram (Durgesh Bhai’s dog) accompanying us. The road was long, cold and dark with the baggage yet there was nothing to worry. Jack did come with us to the platform to see us off in spite of Durgesh Bhai telling him to go back because he would have to go back all alone and probably fight with many mongrels. Yet that night I witnessed exemplary courage of a street mongrel for his master, and it did rekindle my thoughts on the fact “dogs are definitely a man’s best friend”. It brought back memories of the movie Hatchiko that I had seen once how the dog used to wait for his master at the station even after the demise of his master.

25.01.2012

A bandwagon of uncouth, annoying and most indecent people (more than a 100 in number) have taken the train like a swarm of fleas and has made our journey hell with all kinds of antics possible to dishevel any stable mind which include ours. Hence we are praying that the train reaches early and save our souls from this agony from where we will start our journey to Kurukshetra.

26.01.2010

Gondwana Express reached Nizamudin at 8.30am, but by then Durgesh had fixed up a car (Tata Indigo Manza) for us to be picked up from the station and would be with us in the entire bon-voyage. We reached Durgesh’s brother’s place at Shalimar Baag where we had delicious aloo parathas in Garwhali style churned out by Durgesh’s bhabi. For me it was my first meal, because for the last 2 months I am just surviving on two meals; breakfast and lunch accompanied with lots of water during dinner when my hunger pangs drives me over the edge. I happened to meet 2 amazing kids (Durgesh’s nephews) one aged 3.5 years and the other 11 years old christened Yashvardhan (elder) and Jaivardhan (younger) where the elder seemed mature more beyond his years, always trying to take care of the younger and the younger had an amazing thinking brain and his replies to questions were like slingshots hitting right on the bulls eye with immaculate accuracy. I must prophesize that the younger sibling has ‘star’ qualities and the elder would always show him the right path to attain the stardom one day.

We set out on our journey picking up Sandeep for Kurukshetra. Sandeep looked to have grown a shade fairer from what he was at Raigarh and looked vibrant, perhaps the water at Delhi was suiting him to perfection. We set out our journey for Kurukshetra for Jage Sir’s nephew’s wedding by occasionally taking the route directions from him. The roads were empty since being Republic Day, Delhi was like a fortified fortress with empty roads and we were speeding across the Delhi Roads to the 4 lane highway. It took us around two hours to reach Kurukshetra and we had to take a diversion road to reach Muniarpur, a small hamlet nestled in the green fields of Haryana. While taking the final turn to reach there I saw a tractor full of fresh potatoes from the fields going to the market; the first impression that it gave to my taste buds was “finger chips” would be yummy out here. The red and gold shamiana could be seen at a distance, and finally we were at Jage Sir’s home turf.

He was excited and delighted from the bottom of his heart seeing us; it seemed a very emotional moment for him as well as for us too. We were being treated like Gods who had come down to Earth to pay a visit to earthly mortals who pray regularly to catch a glimpse of God himself. Such was the hospitality at Muniarpur meted out by Jage Sir, his family and in fact the entire village that for us it seemed we had been regulars in this place. I still remember Jage Sir’s words “Sourav I never thought that you would ever come to my place because you are high profile” with a glint of moist eyes. Well I just replied to him that I am a son of the soil as much as you are but may be from a different state and we hugged each other. It was a very emotional moment for both of us. We met the groom, saw Jage Sir’s house, met the members of the family and finally got to the table where whisky was being kept for us.

It was 2.00pm and we were having whisky with fresh cut fruits, finger chips, and various other fries fresh from the fields. All of them were so fresh and had such a distinct taste of purity supplemented with the nutrition value that I must confess that this was perhaps one of the purest vegetables I have ever had in my lifetime; and to mention the French fries would any day give McDonalds a run for their money. The taste of the potatoes was unparalleled and we gorged on them like hungry wolves. For a while I forgot the fact that I was a hard core non-vegetarian; and now I didn’t want any mutton or chicken. Well is it an ominous sign for me that may be I would become a vegetarian? Three full bottles of whisky got polished off within 90 minutes with Durgesh, Sandeep and Debashish pushing the accelerator by making Chinese pegs but I choose to go at snail’s pace because I knew we had to travel to Pilhibit from here with the road not known to any one of us by the end of the evening. Hence it was very logical to have sanity in at least one member of the vagabond tribe. Though alcohol has stopped giving me the kicks it used to give before because now I don’t relish when I drink it on the contrary it seems like any liquid. May be I have risen over alcohol. Finally the lunch was brought for us on the same table where we were stuck like a bee on a bee hive drinking the mead that was being served specially for us. The home made butter white in colour with the hot rotis accompanied by fresh Gobhi matter and mixed vegetables with paneer was being gorged at with the speed of light. This was perhaps the first time all of us had homemade butter which had amazing density and viscosity that from nowhere came a fly and it got stuck to it. Debashish looked at me as if our prized possession was taken over by some alien and now what next? I took a spoon and took out the portion with the fly in it stuck to it like fevicol and brushed it aside; and winked at him that the marauder has been taken care of and we can now have our prized possession.

It was time now to shake legs and do some tango at the dance floor and the person born with dancing shoes is undoubtedly Sandeep Deshmukh who can dance non-stop as long as he is not told to stop. All of us did shake our legs on the dance floor with Hindi, Punjabi and Haryanvi songs with me dancing the least since my back had been troubling me for a month and I didn’t want to stretch it too much to again seek medical attention. With this brought a flurry of photographs with Jage Sir visiting the green paddy fields, mustard fields, the primary school where Jage Sir studied and the Lord Shiva temple that they were constructing. The camera shutterbugs went flapping till the sun died out calling it a day and so did us for 2 hours in which Sandeep and Sandeep II slept like a log. It was 7.00pm and we were about to leave but the hospitality was so intense that the whisky bottles again popped out at Jage Sir’s behest and we started drinking again till another 2 full bottles got completely polished off till the last drop. It was already 10.00pm now with Jage Sir asking us to retire for the night but we had to travel far, hence we took the decision to leave Muniarpur with packets of sweets in the car. For the journey they were giving us a full carton of whisky which we refused soulfully and took only 2 bottles with us. In 8 hours the 4 of us had polished off 5 bottles of whisky and I didn’t feel dizzy at all. It was the first marriage that we attended where we didn’t even change our clothes after de-boarding from the train and wore the same clothes when we boarded the train from Raigarh.

Finally we hit the darkness of the road for Pilhibit trying to find our way out. We had to cross Yamunanagar and then head to the Moradabad road. After about 2.5 hours of driving we found that our driver Sandeep II was feeling sleepy hence the only 2 other people who could drive was Durgesh and me, hence we volunteered by putting Sandeep, Sandeep II and Debashish to sleep.

The proposed route for Pilhibit:

Yamunanagar à Saharanpur à Rourkee à Haridwar diversion à Najibabad àAfzargarh à Jaspur à Kashipur à Kichha à Baheri à Richha à Jehanabad à Bareilly à Pilhibit

27.01.2012

At around 12.30 am amidst the dense fog and cold we were finding it difficult to keep the keep the temperature of the car inside in sync with the cold outside and every 10 minutes it was becoming imperative for us to wipe the screens to drive further. However we needed to get a new disk with songs to keep us going for the night; so we stopped at a probable shop to buy one. I just happened to ask the shopkeeper, as to how far are we from the Moradabad road to which he asked me where do I intend to go? Pilhibit was the answer that came out in the cold, he said we had over shot the diversion by 80 Kms and we were just 30 Km away from Dehradoon. His words were like a hot molten knife that had an invisible splitting effect. He asked us if we are to drive throughout the night to which I nonchalantly nodded with a big ‘YES’. He suggested that we go 5 Km back and take the road that leads directly to Haridwar and from there take the Moradabad road to which we humbly agreed upon.

We now set our course with watchful eyes for the Haridwar diversion since the density of the Fog was rising and so was the cold and we didn’t want to overshoot our target. Suddenly we felt a wobble and it was certain that one of the tyres had a puncture. Now we were stranded in the middle of a cold night between the borders of Uttarakhand and Uttar Pradesh amidst the setting of a cold moonless night. The spare tyre came out and it had to be replaced in the front right side of the car. The car was parked in such a manner that the right side was partly on the Highway. There were occasional cries of the cicada and hunger pangs from the foxes in the distance with the night getting darker and heavy vehicles zipping into the dense fog. I was helping Sandeep II to fix the tyre and showing him the light from my old Sony Ericcsson cell phone whose flashlight was like a reprieve for us in that dark hour. I had to bend a little and help him to position the tyre as well as fix the first nut, suddenly I felt a gush of wind behind and I felt a strong slap in my back, so I just straightened my posture and I could see Debashish and Durgesh zapped and dumbfounded at the other side with over bulging eyes from their eye sockets and at a distance I could see a heavy vehicle’s tail light fading in the fog when I turned left. I asked them what happened? They said nothing and in a gesture thanked God. Finally the tyre was set and now we were without any tyre, hence any puncture further would leave us stranded. Later they told me that my jacket had covered one of the parking lights and may be for that reason the demon truck came very close and it did seal a kiss on me at that speed, and I was lucky to live another day. I didn’t thank God hearing this but thought what is God trying to show me? Is he saving me for the good I have done so far in my life or is he trying to show mercy on me telling me he is the supreme power and I should honour it? There are some questions that remain unanswered.

Finally at 3.00 am we reached Haridwar and headed straight to Har ki Pauri. Haridwar is one of the most sacred place of the Hindus where all sinful people take a holy dip to cleanse themselves. However I feel the sin lies in the heart and if you can free your heart along with the soul the sin ceases to exist. I had been to Haridwar when I was a kid with my parents and grandmother and we had taken a dip in the holy Ganges and I had some vivid memories of that. I remembered how religious my mom is about Ganga Jal, so I emptied the last mineral water bottle, and others threw the soda from 2 soda bottles to capture the holy Ganges. When we reached Har ki Pauri it was like a divine panorama brought from a Sci Fi Hollywood movie where there was not a single soul except the four of us. The clouds seem to be touching the Ganges amidst the fog where visibility was less than a metre. We lowered our ‘would be’ divine bottles amidst the clouds and filled it up to the brim and took the holy dip. The water was freezing and the current too strong and I just let my body to flow with the current. The water was like a thousand needles puncturing every single vein. I opened my eyes to see the river didn’t sway me from my place and I stood firm which was defying science in a big way. I happened to ask myself what was the imminent sign? We set out again the thick fog piercing against the white blanket with not a single soul on the road. Durgesh and I were sitting in the front and the sleepers at the back. We were crossing Rajaji National park with no spare tyre and no water to quench our thirst except Ganga jal. The fog seems to follow us and in the distance we spotted a spotted deer on the road. We stopped in a dhaba to have tea and woke up the person at 4.00am to mend the puncture. We huddled ourselves near the fire where tea was being made. Sandeep tried a new recipe as he didn’t like tea, hence asked for a coffee and wanted it to be smothered with ginger. This was undoubtedly the freakiest hot drink that the cook had ever made in his entire lifetime. If u want to know the taste of it you better ask Sandeep and Debasish or make one for yourself. We took a 2 litre water bottle and set on course with “Naadaan Parindey” blaring away from Rockstar. I feel I am the “Naadaan Parinda”...!

All were asleep except me and Durgesh doing the onus of driving and bang came the horizontal sign board written “Bareilley 300 Km”. Both Durgesh and I saw at it and the first reaction was a laugh which woke up everyone. The distance seemed nothing to me now as I was on a pilgrimage trying to re-discover and stretch myself to the maximum. We had seen the sun go down and now saw the sun go up with wheels of the car zipping past the empty roads. At 8.00am we were 50 km away from Bareiley and stopped to have another cup of tea when we realized the tyre had got punctured again. We changed the tyre and while trying to fix the other tyre realized that the valve had gone bad and so was the tube. So now we drove in the daylight without a spare tyre again. On reaching the outskirts of Bareilley another tyre got punctured so we parked our car on the side of the road where it seemed logs of wood were kept not just in heaps but more than that and some people were busy trying to transport those heavy logs in tractors. Both the Sandeep’s volunteered to take the tyres to the nearby tyre mending shop which could be seen at a distance. Durgesh, Debashish and I stood along with the car to realize that we had driven straight into the heartland of Uttar Pradesh wood mafia where illegal trees were cut and was being sold in the middle of the highway. One of the men came straight to me and asked me to shift our car to which I showed him that our car was on support of a single piece of science invention called ‘JACK’. They suspected us to be from some CID agency because of the Ray Ban that I was wearing gifted by someone very special to me on my birthday. Finally the tyres were set and now we were 70 Km away from Pilhibit. This was another close shave and I must say anything could have happened, being Uttar Pradesh where muscle power rules, we were unarmed while they were armed to the core. By this time Piyush was calling us up enquiring about our whereabouts and giving us the road directions to his home at Pilhibit and yelling what we have been doing; as it was 11.00am and we had not reached. He was not ready to believe our tale that by now we have changed all the tyres of the car by now.

Finally we reached Pilhibit at Piyush’s house crossing lush green sugar cane fields which was in abundance. It seemed that Pilhibit is the sugar bowl of India with many sugar factories and other food processing units which included even ketchup. The house decked up with flowers, folk songs travelled in the air, guests and family members moving hither and thither with the rituals being carried out were reverberating with vibrancy. Piyush was ecstatic to see us, as he had doubts if we would come for his wedding or not. We were made to sit in the drawing room where some guests were already sitting but perhaps we were on higher priority hence the sofa was made empty for us. We saw a plate filled with delicious pure ghee sweets which we gobbled up in a jiffy. By this time another plate came filled with snacks and sweets accompanied with tea which was specially meant for us but by now we had finished the plate that was not ours; hunger you see can make you do crazy things. We were escorted to the hotel by Deepak (Piyush’s younger brother) which was 2 Km away from his residence and was one of the best hotel’s in Pilhibit. We had met Piyush’s parents and sister by now and my observation was that Piyush’s father and brother had the same characteristics in behaviour and hospitality. The three were alike; and here again hospitality was at its best.

It was now 12.00pm by the time each one of us changed our clothes after more than 24 hours. We took turns to use the washroom, and by this time Piyush had called me up and gave us an option for lunch either at his residence or to order some at the hotel. Durgesh and I had been awake throughout the night, hence we were feeling sleepy, so we decided to hit the bed. The bed was more than a King size and all 4 of us did fit in, and on the floor in the mattress slept Sandeep II our driver who was having a good time with us. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t, though my eyes were aching, yet sleep was not there. I felt I needed a solid large peg so that I could sleep at least for a few hours before the marriage function. It wasn’t jet lag but car lag on the contrary.

I took out the whisky bottle from the bag and fixed a Patiala for myself but by then Durgesh also got up and he asked for a 30ml shot I gulped it down the throat, it was harsh but that I thought was the only way to put myself to sleep. My cell phone rang and took the call without opening my eyes. The voice from the other side was from a user at JSPL, I wanted to scream at him at the top of my lungs to tell him that I haven’t slept and I need some rest. I composed myself, listened to his issue and provided the solution. I looked at my watch I had just slept for 30 minutes only and sleep if once broken was never to come again in my case. The time was 4.00pm and by 7.00pm was supposed to join the Baraat and before that we had to get a gift for the newlywed couple. So Sandeep, Debashish and I went to Pilhibit market where Debashish had to get a memory card for his camera, while we settled in unison to gift a La-O-Pala dinner set. We started hunting for a crockery shop and finally we got one where we zeroed in for our gift a dinner set an exquisite set in white and black. From the same shop Debashish got for himself a hip flask on my recommendation while I settled for a peg measure which I had been hunting for long in Ranchi, Kolkata and Asansol. We gave Sandeep every opportunity to haggle with the shopkeeper because he was the best man for the job. I realized I had not got my leather half shoes to wear with my Kurta and pyjama so I had to get something for my feet. I didn’t want to invest much so I bought a Nagra for which I paid 200Rs, and so did Sandeep. The Nagra was good to look at a complete party wear but it had a flat sole and was hard, and I knew for sure my skin being soft is bound to have blisters by the time i open it.

I advised Sandeep to take a rickshaw till the hotel, but he had a different opinion that we should carry it till the hotel. So in turns we carried the jumbo a 10Kg huge box. When I was carrying it I felt it slipping because of the slimy paper packing in that busy crowd and Pilhibitite’s were looking at 2 frenzied persons taking a mountain. Sandeep kept on telling me just 300 metres more and I was taking the onus of carrying it, and I could see the flag of the hotel fluttering in the distance. Finally we reached the hotel and according to the deal Sandeep was to take the jumbo till the room on the third floor which he did. It was already 5.00pm and we had to take the whisky shots and get ready by 7.00pm to shake legs for the Baraat. The responsibility laid on me to order the snacks, and Piyush knew very well that we were non-veg freaks so he had called me on prior and had told me to order the non-veg as the food in the wedding would be completely vegetarian. I ordered Garlic chicken and chicken lahsuni tikka. By the time I reached the room Durgesh was ready and Sandeep barged in to the washroom to get ready. I was the last person to get ready and by then all of them had started their drinking binge and were about to fill their second. I started my first and for snacks we had an additional stuff, which was Aloo tikki that Debashish got. We polished off the entire bottle and by then Piyush rung me up and asked us to join the Baraat. We left the hotel at 7.30pm to join the baraat, and here again Sandeep and Durgesh stole the show with their dancing theatrics accompanied by Debashish while for me I did shake my legs a bit but the Nagra was a detrimental factor yet I did dance. Piyush asked us to provide 100 Pipers for his colleagues from JSPL Power plant and keep a bottle for ourselves which we didn’t open. A battery of photographs was taken during the procession of the Baraat and in the marriage venue Rama Garden. By this time Sandeep and Durgesh again hit the dance floor after having a few shots of 100 Pipers which was offered to us by Piyush’s cousin and I found it difficult to finish a single peg. My legs were aching and I was tired as hell, I just needed to drop down dead for the next 10 hours at least. Debashish and I went on an inspection spree on the food that was laid and filled our tummies with a little bit of everything. Whenever the spread is vegetarian I always make it a point to taste a little bit of everything. The food was delicious and I must confess now that I have started liking veggies a lot. However later I came to know from Durgesh that there was mushroom too which I had missed. We came back to the hotel at 2.00am and I dropped dead like a log in slumber.

28.01.2012

I opened my eyes and looked at my watch; it was 9.00am with the fog just clearing from my head and the window outside, to realize I was in Pilhibit and the journey has to be made for Nainital from here for my salvation. I ordered for a cup of tea for myself and the others and blew the bugle for others to get ready. We checked out of the hotel and headed straight to Piyush’s residence to meet him and take the directions for Nainital. We reached Piyush’s residence at 11.30am and saw some function was going on where the newlywed couple Piyush and Shubi were sitting in the front and all other members were sitting behind them like long chain and the last person tapped the second last and the cascading effect would continue till the tap reached the person sitting in the first. Meanwhile most of the guests were about to leave including us. We had lunch that was served to us that comprised of Puri, aloo matar sabzi, dal, rice, salad, and a sweet dish that I had for the first time in my life. It looked like a white powdery substance, more close to sugar being grounded very fine and fried in desi ghee. The food was delicious and all the delicacies were prepared without onion and garlic. It was time to bid adieu to Piyush and again we met all the family members and took the directions from Piyush’s father and driver. Piyush’s eyes said it all, he was very happy that we kept the word of attending his marriage. We filled up the car’s tank with its fodder since it was close to empty and set out on our journey. Nainital was 150 Km away from Pilhibit out of which 75 Km was completely hilly with sharp bends. We were advised to reach early there because of two factors the cold and the impending elections in Uttar Pradesh and Uttarakhand. We crossed lush green fields of sugarcane and the first 25 km seemed an uphill task of sitting in the car. The road was filled with craters and so bumpy that it felt we were on a horse back, I must confess that the Tata suspension too gave an additional effect. Before reaching Kichha we were supposed to take a diversion which was a shortcut, however we came to know the bridge there was broken hence we couldn’t take that route. We followed the Kiccha route for Haldwani and in the interim were caught up with some mob rallies and traffic jams.

Finally at around 4.00pm we crossed the beautiful town of Haldwani and industrial Pantnagar and headed straight to a police check post before taking the climb for Nainital. Every car was being searched by the forces and we would be no exception. Our hearts sank on the thought that we were carrying a un opened bottle of 100 Pipers which Piyush gave us had a Uttar Pradesh tag on it. However I was hopeful that we would still be able to save our antidote for the cold. Four armed security forces personnel of the BSF (Border Security Force) surrounded us and seeing the Delhi registration asked us to open the boot. Unwillingly we did it and now all our bags were about to be opened and searched. The zips were being opened for all the trolleys and I started to converse with them asking about the cold and snow, and places to visit. One of them did see the bottle and looked straight in my eye and said “tourists”. I said a big yes. He let us go and we did save our prized possession. Sometimes you see the protectors of law do let you off on humane grounds. We started on with the steep climb on the treacherous road, which was a mere 25 Km till Nainital.

It was 4.30pm now and the Sun was about to set in another 20 minutes. The climb on top of the mountain was magical and the air of freshness and cold was giving me hope to find answers to the questions that i had in my mind. We had a quick tea and drove further and took a battery of snaps with the sun setting down. We finally stopped clicking when it became completely dark. It was so cold that we had to open the 100 Pipers in the car itself and started drinking enjoying Mother Nature and God’s abode listening to “Nadaan parindey” which by now had become our anthem. We reached Naini Lake at 6.00pm and saw the glittering lights that surrounded it. It was nothing short of a spectacle. We got out of the car and realized the cold was so intense that it was difficult to stand there. Our bodies were feeling numb; the temperature was less than 1 degree Celsius. Some locals had lit a fire and we immediately ran there to take the warmth of the fire.

A hotel had to be taken as soon as possible else we would get sick because of the cold. We drove further on Mall road and parked the car. Durgesh and I went out in search for a hotel in 2 different directions. I had forgotten my skull cap and I could feel the wind injecting needles inside my skull, so I went back to get my head gear. On reaching the car I found the heater was on, and in the back seat sat Sandeep and Debashish along with Sandeep II gorging on boiled eggs. Eggs supposedly keep you warm when you have them. Sandeep offered me an egg and I was having it keeping the door open to which he yelled at me to either sit inside the car or be outside. Durgesh came back and said he has stuck a deal where 2 rooms were being charged for Rs 700 only. We polished off close to 40 eggs within those 15 minutes, took out our baggage from the car and went straight to the hotel.

The hotel was completely empty and we were the only occupants because of the off season due to the cold. Everything closes by 7.30pm at Nainital and due to the freezing temperature sometimes it’s even earlier. We came out of the hotel and went to get snacks and dinner; because all of us felt we should try the local cuisine. We went to Hotel Anupam and ordered for a full chicken tandoor, Chicken Kaali mirch, Mutton Bhuna, Jeera Rice and Rumali Roti. We hurried with the food to get back to the hotel to fix a drink because the cold was too much to bear. We started our first drink with the delicacies that we just bought. As I sipped the first drop I realized that I was missing someone very much. Someone who is very close to me, whom I had promised for a trip to the mountains. Everyone kept asking me about my mood, and I just tried to get on with the drink and food; and sleep as soon as possible. Here I had everything at my disposal yet I was not enjoying, with my thoughts running far for the right and wrong. By 10.00pm we had finished dinner and we were finding it difficult to wash our hands in the water, the water seemed like a knife cutting apart the skin when it was touching it making it numb. We hurried on to our beds and went asleep.

29.01.2012

I woke up at 6.00am and found Durgesh had woken up before me and had already been out to take a walk; had just returned. The fog was dense but it was in the process of clearing. I went to the balcony and saw the spectacle of a battery of hills accompanied with the huge Pine trees. It was greenery all over, which is hard to describe. We got ready and went out to have breakfast because we wanted to feel the essence of Nainital. We had delicious aloo parathas with butter topping and 2 rounds of coffee. While sipping the coffee we observed that the locals out here have a fair complexion and their cheeks are a natural red. While going back to the hotel we saw water that way lying on the road had turned into a sheet of ice. We checked out from the hotel and drove to Bara Patthar from where you get to see the Himalayan range. The climb was very steep and we went beyond that point and went further up and were elated to witness snow on the sides of the road. We took photographs reaching the highest point and came back to the place where they let you see the Himalayan range through the binocular on payable basis. An array of photographs followed. Durgesh asked for my RayBan to wear it for a moment so that he can keep an image of himself with him. I opened to give it to him, and from the side Sandeep II the driver unknowingly pushed my hand and RayBan dropped on the road. I saw one of the glass come out of it though it didn’t break.

My heart skipped a beat and a sense of deep sorrow set inside me, because this was one of my most prized possession. A special person had gifted to me on my birthday and ever since then I mostly wear my RayBan more than my Nike because i wanted to see the world through that person’s eyes. I realized that it’s not broken and the glass can be put back inside the frame. In life relationship cannot be broken and it can be re-built. Like a child i said to everyone that i need to fix this. We came downhill to Nainital again and i went inside the market to witness the only spectacle shop closed being a Sunday. My heart sank in and i came back with heavy legs back to the car. There was a small shop beside the car and others were inside it to check out some stuff out there. I went in and saw him selling Sunglasses too, so i asked him with reluctance if he could fix it. He gladly accepted it and fixed it for me with his tools. Eureka...!!! I felt i could rebuild anything...!!!

We set out for Bhimtal going through Bhawali. We reached Bhimtal and saw the lake and clicked a few snaps. I suggested now that we should go to Mukteshwar at 7500 feet. Legend has it that the Pandavas on their route to Moksh / salvation had prayed in that temple of Lord Shiva. I felt this is my journey for salvation and perhaps i will find my answers there. We went back again to Bhawali from Bhimtal and from there Mukteshwar was another 45 Km. The road to Mukteshwar was treacherous and in some places so narrow that only a single vehicle could pass through. The turns were very difficult to manoeuvre because they were Z shaped and it was accompanied with steepness and snow on the sides. The tyre was slipping when it was entering the snow an inch more of skidding would lead the vehicle to fall off from that height into the ditch. We were very cautious and didn’t allow Sandeep II to drive and kept honking in every turn. We reached Ghagar which was at 6000 feet and had tea and then moved on. The entire journey was risky but the landscape was beautiful, as if God has done it on canvas.

Finally we reached Mukteshwar at 4.00pm, with the sun about to set in another 30 minutes. There was not a soul anywhere to be found and we thought we had to visit the mandir all by ourselves. Suddenly from nowhere came a man in his 70’s dressed in a long overcoat greeted us in English. I was zapped because there was no one to be found and he introduced himself as a guide and told us that he be given 100Rs only for taking us around the place. He told us that we shouldn’t have come from the Ghagar route as it was dangerous and while going back there would be dense fog which we had already pre-conceived and didn’t want to go through that route either. He took us around and showed us that the entire hill is on a Mica plate and the mandir is on the top of a Cobra’s hood. We were amazed to see at 7500 feet that the front facing of the mountain was made of white rock like a Cobra’s inner side of the hood and on the other side it was black. We went to the highest point on the hood and one step further would lead a fall where even the body will not be found ever. We went to the mandir for darshan where there were 2 Shivlings of Lord Shiva, one black and the other completely white. As i was about to enter to pray the guide came and whispered in my ear “Ask for anything and you will never return empty handed from here”. I went inside, prayed and asked God for something, for which I will have to go back to Mukteshwar again if i am able to achieve it. The guide told us to go through a different route and we took the directions from him. We took the Sitarganj, Majola route which was not that dangerous as the former. While going back a thought occurred to me as to who this guide could have been? How did he know that we came from Ghagar route? Why were there no other guides except him? Why did he whisper in my ear to ask for anything? I checked my camera and looked at the photographs that i had clicked, and i saw while I was taking a panoramic view of the valley below his hand came in between pointing towards the Himalayas. Was this the hand of God?

We reached Haldwani at 7.30pm and from there gave the car to Sandeep II to drive back to Delhi. We had not had our lunch and were on the lookout for a dhaba to have non-veg. It was surprising that most of the dhabas serve vegetarian food till Rudrapur. After we crossed Rudrapur we stopped at a few more dhabas and there also we got a negation for non-veg. We stopped at another one in the highway and Debashish signalled us to come. I went and asked the person if he has mutton, because i had an eerie feeling when i saw copper vessels being put in a vertical fashion. He looked at me and asked “which mutton”? I knew they were serving beef only and when i looked at my left i could see the Masjid and the array of trucks lined up here had one common thing the number 786. We hurried from there got back to our car, and left the place immediately. Had i not checked all of us would have had beef by now. Our hunger pangs were over the top and finally we stopped at a dhaba and had proper vegetarian food. A hurried thought rushed across my mind while on pilgrimage one normally tends to have a lot of restriction on food especially with non-veg. Perhaps this was another God’s desire for us.

We were caught in many traffic jams and finally at 4.00am, reached Sandeep’s flat at Tughlakabad. We went inside the 2 BHK flat and liked it a lot. We lost no time in changing clothes as i had been the only person awake in the journey back while others were sleeping. I needed to sleep and dream about my Moksh / salvation and rebuilding.

Oo .. ho ho ..
Phir se ud chala
Ud ke choda hai jahaan neech mein tumhare ab hoon hawale
Door door log baag meelon door yeh vaadiyan

Ghar, dhuaan dhuaan tan har badli chali aati hai choone
Aur koi badli kabhi kahi kar de tan geela yeh hai bina ho
Kisi manzar par main ruka nahin
Kabhi khud se bhi mein mila nahin
Yeh gila toh hai main khafa nahin
Shehar ek se, gaon ek se
Log ek se, naam ek oo ..

Phir se ud chala main
Pitti jaise sapne yeh kitaabi palkon se jhaado phir aa jaate hain

Itne saare sapne kya kahoon
Kis tarah se maine tode hain chode hain, kyun
Phir saath chale, mujhe le ke ude yeh kyun oo ..

Kabhi daal daal, kabhi paat paat
Mere saath saath, phir dar dar yeh
Kabhi sehera, kabhi saavan
Banu raavan kyun mann manke
Kabhi daal daal, kabhi paat paat
Kabhi din hai raat, kabhi dinmin hai
Kya sach hai, kya maya, hai daata, hai daata

Idhar uudhar, titar bitar
Kya hai pata, hawa liye jaye teri ore
Kheenche teri yaaden teri yaaden teri ore

Rang birange vehmon mein, main udaas kyun

Rang birange vehmon mein, main udaas kyun

Oo .. ho ho ..

O nadaan parindey ghar aaja
O nadaan parindey ghar aaja
O nadaan parindey ghar aaja
Ghar aaja, ghar aaja, ghar aaja aa ..

Kyun desh-videsh phire maara
Kyun haal-vihaal thaka haara
Kyun desh-videsh phire maara
Tu raat-biraat ka banjara
O nadaan parindey ghar aaja
Ghar aaja, ghar aaja, ghar aaja aa ..
Nadaan parindey ghar aaja - 4 times
Sau dand badan pe phaile hain, har karam ke kapde maile hain

Kaate chahe jitna, paro se hawaon ko
Khud se naa bach paayega tu
Todh aasmano ko, phook de jahaano ko
Khud ko chhupa naa payega tu
Koi bhi le rasta, tu hai tu le hasta
Apne hi ghar aayega tu

O nadaan
O nadaan parindey ghar aaja
Ghar aaja, ghar aaja ghar aaja aa ..
Nadaan parindey ghar aaja - 4 times

Dagar kagar mori itni araz tose chun chun khaiyo maans
Dagar kagar mori itni araz tose chun chun khaiyo maans
Re jiya re khaiyon na tu naina mor
Khaiyon na tu naina mor
Piya ke milan ki aas
Khaiyon na tu naina more, khaiyon na tu naina mohe
Piya ke milan ki aas

O nadaan
O nadaan parindey ghar aaja
Ghar aaja, ghar aaja, ghar aaja aa ..

Beyond the Fateline....!!!!!!

The weather has suddenly changed from the childish meanderings of the soft sun to thunderous melancholy. It’s raining outside. The ambience is just perfect for me to tell my tale. But don’t worry; it is neither a spine chilling story nor a mushy romance. It's rather factual.

Ten years ago, I was a frustrated man in my 20's. The reasons were the usual ones------ a lousy job, dissatisfied parents, and of course a woman. It was so predictable that I visited an astrologer.

The astrologer, with his hollow voice, gleaming greedy eyes and a broad smile pretty much fitted in with his profession.

"Good morning, Mr Frank. Please list all the necessary details regarding the time and place of your birth. Perhaps you would care to show me your palm......."

The next few minutes left me spellbound. There sat the astrologer, repeating my life story in detail. "So this is the way it stands. Against your parents' wishes, you decided to opt out of college and took up a small clerical job with a small business firm. You then came across a seemingly innocent, beautiful woman with whom you had fallen in love----- Janee!" he said adding," But your parents disapproved because she was headstrong, so you left home. Years passed, and you wondered whether Janee really loved you or not

Your boss seemed to restrict your promotions and transferred you to the less flourishing branches of the company. That's when it all became clear. See, you always knew it------- he was the one she really wanted......."

"Stop!" I cried out. "That's enough. You know everything." I took a deep breath and asked,” Does the future hold any promise?"

"Everything will be fine. Well, almost everything. There may be just a minor hitch, inconsequential to your life afterward," said the astrologer. At that moment, he paused. Something was troubling him.

I realized he was suppressing some information. I tried to get it out of him. "I will write out everything in detail for you, come some other time," said the astrologer nodding his head characteristically. Suddenly, life took an upswing. My boss got transferred and i came back. Janee had little choice, but to return to me. She admitted her mistake and i found every reason to forgive her. My parents.....?

By then, they had accepted to accept my way of doing things. All this did not happen in a fortnight's time, bit it took some time to reconstruct my life. A couple of years passed by.

Yet something bothered me. I visited the astrologer several times but it was fruitless. He simply wouldn’t tell me everything.

He said he was still preparing notes for the horoscope. He seemed to be playing with my life, which he could read like a transparent piece of glass. My curiosity grew, as I could see that I was merely a puppet in his hand. One morning, I stormed into his office." I demand an explanation, I must have it." "Come some other time. It is nearly complete."

Come some other time? But there will be no other time!" I shrieked in anger. I had lost my nerve. I experienced fear, anger and madness. I smelt blood. Across the table, I could see a sheet of paper. Despite the distance, I could figure out my name clearly.

A penknife rested on the sheet so as to prevent me from getting a glimpse of it. I reached out for it. He resisted my move. I reached for it again. This time, I got what i wanted. Well not exactly.I grabbed the knife and, in the ensuing tussle, stabbed him accidentally. He dropped dead.

I picked up the sheet. "Everything about Mr Frank seems to be fine. His life will ultimately follow a smooth happy course. However, there is one dark deed that he will commit, one for which he will never be arrested. It is difficult for me to tell him. But I am sure, he will commit murder.

What is more intriguing is that I cannot figure out who the victim will be. Not his parents, neither his former boss and definitely not Janee. Someone not quite relevant to his life. Someone whose relevance shall arise only from the everlasting stigma of unjustifiable homicide. I am so confused......."

Sourav Singh Roy

(This story was published on 30th May 1999 in the Asian Age in the category of one of the best original short story composition)